Memories that float on Holocaust Remembrance Day
- Dr. Nati Blum
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On dementia, pain, and a memory that must be preserved
On Holocaust Remembrance Day, we all pause. We remember. We honor the memory of those who were lost. But alongside looking back and honoring the victims, it is also important to look ahead — to those who live among us but whose memory is no longer stable. For them, memories are not merely fragments of history, but vivid, overwhelming, and sometimes painful experiences. This is especially relevant to older adults, some of whom are Holocaust survivors themselves and are now experiencing cognitive decline — sometimes to the point of being diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer's disease.
147,000 survivors – and tens of thousands of them with dementia
As of 2024, there are approximately 147,000 Holocaust survivors living in Israel. Approximately 60% of them are over the age of 85, and many are dealing with cognitive decline – whether it is mild memory loss or advanced dementia. Estimates are that approximately 15% of them are living with dementia. In other words, over 20,000 people in Israel are both Holocaust survivors and dealing with dementia. This is an unprecedentedly complex emotional crossroads: people who experienced severe traumas in their childhood, and now – in the final years of their lives – are losing their grip on identity, memory, and environment.
When traumatic memories resurface
It is precisely when forgetting spreads that mental defenses sometimes crumble. Memories that were previously repressed or blurred suddenly surface – sharp, overwhelming, uncontrollable. The smell of smoke, a sad melody in the background, or a certain word in the context of the Holocaust – is enough to provoke an internal storm. For survivors with dementia, the present and the past mix – sometimes they feel like they are back in 40s Europe. More than once, memories from the past surface in the form of Panic, screaming, or a real sense of threat"It is important to understand that this is not a performance or an "exaggeration", but a real and vivid experience for the patient. That is, it is a real emotional response - not 'dramatic' or 'irrational'. It is a cry for help, which requires sensitive treatment."
How to act in the event of an outbreak
- Maintain calm eye contact., stand at eye level and say in a quiet voice: “You are in a safe place. We are with you.” The tone of voice is more important than the words themselves.
- Avoid arguing. Or trying to forcefully "bring him back to reality." Sayings like "It's over a long time ago" can increase anxiety.
- Focus your attention on a calming or familiar object. – A favorite pillow, a soft scarf, or an object from childhood can anchor him back to this moment.
- Reduce environmental stimuli – Turn off the TV or music, move away from the hustle and bustle, move to another space with soft lighting.
- If there is a close family photo or a familiar person – use them as an anchor.: “Look, this is your daughter. We are here with you. Everything is fine.”
How to prevent such situations in advance?
- Avoid exposure to graphic content on television. On Holocaust Remembrance Day – for example, turning on a black screen instead of broadcasting a ceremony.
- Prepare the next one in advance, if possible, and gently share that there is a memorial service today, but it is not mandatory to attend.
- Explain to family and caregivers How to respond if distress develops – including for children at home, who need to understand that the grandfather is “re-experiencing” difficult things from the past.
How do we mark Holocaust Remembrance Day, graciously and without harm?
- Personal candle lighting ceremony
Engaging the patient in the simple act of lighting a small candle creates a moment of emotional connection and meaning, even if the words are no longer understood. Don't underestimate the power of a touch of the hand, or a quiet gaze into the eyes.
- Family photo wall – a pleasant visual memory
Together, choose photos from his childhood (if available) or from familiar periods, and arrange them in chronological order on a wall across the house. You can give each photo a short, catchy name. This connection allows for a safe memory experience – visual, not verbal.
- A simple creative act – one word or color
Even if speaking is difficult, you can draw together, or write a word like “love,” “family,” or “home.” Even if the patient just holds the paint, it is a calming and empowering action.
- Relaxing tea break before the ceremony
Communal rituals and emotional communication with a Holocaust survivor with dementia should be done sensitively. Before watching television or giving speeches, it is recommended to offer a pleasant herbal tea (such as chamomile or lavender) that can calm physical sensations.
- A calming object in your hand – a stress ball or familiar object
Physicality is important. When the patient is held by a pleasant, tactile object, such as a stress ball or familiar toy, they feel they have an "anchor" in the midst of the emotional storm.
Coping with a painful memory—even when it's deceptive
In many ways, dealing with dementia among Holocaust survivors is one of the most important preservation systems of national memory. Not only for them – but also for us, the generations to come. When we preserve the rituals for them, and help them feel present and safe, we also preserve our collective memory as a society. On this day and every other day – we will reach out. We will listen. We will bless our shared existence, even when words fail. Because even when a person forgets their past, or rather remembers and relives traumas from their past – they should never feel forgotten.
Summary
On Holocaust Remembrance Day, we pause to remember the horrors of the past – but alongside commemoration, we must also remember life: the Holocaust survivors living today, many of them in advanced age and with cognitive decline. For them, memories are not just stories from the past – but living experiences that are powerful, and sometimes lead to confusion, fear or screaming. When dementia meets unresolved trauma, the reaction can be shocking – but also understandable. And there are gentle and practical ways to cope with such moments: from the moments when a painful memory arises, to creating a personal and homely ritual that will allow a person to experience the day in a calm and respectful way. When we are there – quietly, with love, with understanding – we preserve not only the memory of the past, but also the dignity of the present.
We know it's not easy, but we can prepare for it. If you need help, advice, or additional support, we at EMDA are available to provide free advice at our support and advice center, by calling *8889.
Good luck to all of us on this challenging journey.
Dr. Nati Blum, CEO EMDA Association
Dr. Nati Blum is CEO EMDA Association and holds a PhD in Psychology from the University of Sacramento. Her doctoral dissertation focused on face-to-face group therapy versus virtual group therapy. In her role at EMDA, she harnesses her professional and managerial experience to lead efforts to improve the quality of life of those dealing with dementia, promote their rights, and raise public awareness of the phenomenon in Israel.