Guidance and tips
Recommendations for caregivers of a person with dementia
Passover, freedom and dementia
- Ari Manor
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Anat felt that life was pressing and closing in on her from all sides. Demanding work, raising children, a tense atmosphere of war and division in the nation, constant sadness for the hostages in Gaza, fears of nuclear weapons in Iran, and most recently, caring for her mother, who had advanced into an advanced stage of dementia. All of these made her day heavy and oppressive. Her energy was depleted, and she experienced depression and difficulty coping, when it seemed as if there was no hope on the horizon.
Amidst all these challenges, Anat found herself struggling to maintain the inner peace and mental strength she needed to continue supporting everyone, including her dear mother. On the holiday of Passover, she thought about the freedom and liberty that the holiday symbolizes, and whether she too can enjoy the freedom and choices that do her good.
Tips for Empowering Therapists
Like Anat, many family caregivers feel that their lives are more limited and less happy than before. The tips below are intended to strengthen the spirit, and to feel better about our lives and choices, even when circumstances are not easy.
Taking responsibility for our choices
Be sure to remember that even in the most difficult situations, we have the ability to choose. Take responsibility for your choices, and choose to live life with love and wholeness – this is our true freedom. Be at peace with the choice to care for your loved ones – it expresses your true and authentic desire, and in the long run you will know that you did what you could and you will be able to feel good about yourself. Do not give up on the desire to create an environment where you feel loved and appreciated (even by yourself!), and in which you can find inner balance and mental resilience.
Self-listening and setting small goals
Take time to listen to yourself, to understand what is truly important to you, what strengthens you, and what allows you to feel fulfilled. Set small goals every day – whether it is a quiet time to read a book, a short walk, or a deep conversation with a loved one. These actions provide mental resilience, and allow you to give yourself moments of calm, joy, and comfort, even in complex situations.
Seeking and receiving community support
Join support groups for family members caring for people with dementia. Instead of feeling alone in your challenging world, open your heart and listen to the stories of people going through the same pain and challenges. Sharing experiences allows you to understand that the path you choose, even when it seems difficult, is a path where you will also find support, closeness, friendship and inspiration.
Open communication with the immediate environment
Talk to family and friends about your situation. Being informed in advance about the challenges, expected behaviors, and reactions that may arise helps create a framework in which everyone knows how to cope in a sensitive and inclusive manner. It is important that children in the immediate family also learn the meaning of empathy and patience, so that each family can come together in the complex reality and provide mutual support.
Preserving identity and continuity in personal values
Remember that your personal identity, as a caregiver and as a family member, is irreplaceable. Support your loved one where you can, and provide assistance where it is more difficult for you, without feeling guilty about it. Be happy for what you bring into the world and your strengths, but recognize and consider your weaknesses. Continue to live your life attentively (also to yourself!) and authentically, despite all the challenges, and in doing so you will strengthen your sense of freedom and inner value.